Not Eating

The truth is I work in extremes. As much as I preach about balancing your life I am either moving 900 miles per hour or totally comatose because I have overwhelmed myself. I missed the fundamental part of development where you’re supposed to learn to let things go, move at medium, and just live life.

As a result of this, I have issues with food. I’m all or nothing. If I’m super stressed and “watching my figure” (lol when am I ever happy with what I look like?) then you can pretty much guarantee I’m not eating. Or, rather, I’m not eating enough. Similarly, if I have gone into a comatose, “life is too hard I’ve given up” state, you can guarantee I’m eating too much. I can’t track my calories, at all. If I do it’s a one-way ticket to “let’s see how little we can eat and not pass out” town. I know this about myself. I know how to watch for the signs in me, and I know when I have hit my limit.

I also very, very much struggle with what I see in the mirror. What I see when I look at me is (I think) not what everyone else sees when they look at me. I hate pictures of myself. I can look at any given one and point out 5 things wrong with it in a second. I kinda feel like any time I think “hey I don’t look half bad” my brain rebels against me.

I’m not saying this to be all oh poor Kelsey trying to make a living in fitness but hates her appearance wah. I’m saying this because these are things I know about myself, and know to watch for, and I think that’s a major step anyone trying to change their life needs to make. If you’re wanting to lose weight, put on muscle, “tone,” whatever, you’re really saying you want to make some life changes. Or, you need to be, because if you don’t understand that core point you will never get the results you want. But more than that, you need to understand what your life is in this current time and the person you are in this current time to know how to make those changes.

Those cheesey “it’s just you vs you” captions gym Bros love to share are actually true. Getting in shape is a mental battle and much as a physical one. You have to know your opponent (you) inside and out. You have to know how to fight your opponent’s weaknesses and play to his or her strengths. You have to know when your weakness is working out too much and eating too little and know when to throw in the towel and say enough.

It’s corny and whatever and I get that, but it is true. As you’re embarking on your “journey” or whatever we’re supposed to call it nowadays, take some time to really get to know yourself. I promise it will help.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s